I Can Make You Hate, Charlie Brooker

"Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight? Who wouldn't? Keep dreaming, imbecile.

In the meantime, if you'd like to read something that alternates between laugh-out-loud-funny and apocalyptically angry, keep holding this book. Steal it if necessary.

In his latest collection of rants, raves, hastily spluttered articles and scarcely literate scrawl, Charlie Brooker proves that there is almost nothing in this universe, big or small, that can't reduce a human being to a state of pure blind hatred.

It won't help you lose weight, feel smarter, sleep more soundly, or feel happier about yourself. It WILL provide you with literally hours of distraction and merriment. It can also be used to stun an intruder, if you hit him with it correctly (hint: strike hard, using the spine, on the bridge of the nose)."

Brooker is to mainstream newspaper columnists what 'Worms 3' is to 'Medal of Honour', and that's an analogy I don't feel any necessity to expand on whatsoever

He's one of my favourite writers; a journalist with one of the most distinctive voices going, a man who can spin an insult that skewers the innocent and irritating alike. Some of his columns have changed the way that I refer to people, just for how perfectly he can summarise a person (John Kerry looks like a haunted tree, David Cameron is a Lizard). Everything he writes is readable in his tone; a mix of disgust and hatred, tempered with disappointed fury.

This is late-era Brooker; a writer who's grown up and seems less ready to launch into hyperbolic, tongue rasping invective. He's certainly not mellow but he isn't as fierce as he once was, in part, one suspects because he isn't working the same beat. Slashing the plots and tropes of crap TV, which he did very well on his Screen Burn column is replaced by more general comment pieces on everything from his new hobby of jogging, to computers taking over the world (he dares them) and media ethics. Where his TV analysis does show up (Geordie Shore comes in for an especial shoeing) he remains pithily horrible, which is good.

If he's not quite as scathing as he once was it certainly doesn't lessen the quality of his clear, incisive writing; metaphor laden, frequently hilarious and as prone to bouts of profound profanity laden invective as ever it remains a real joy to read, and usually as much fun to read aloud, pretending to be him, which is something Jalyss hates me doing, so she'll be quite happy to hear I've stopped reading this.

And remember: David Cameron is a Lizard.

Also Try:
Charlie Brooker, David Cameron is a Lizard, http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/oct/09/charlie-brooker-bbc-cuts?INTCMP=SRCH&guni=Article:in%20body%20link and http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/oct/16/charlie-brooker-cameron-a-lizard
Charlie Brooker, Screenburn

You Are Awful (But I Like You); Travels Through Unloved Britain, Tim Moore

"Would you cheer if they sent you to Coventry? Could you stick up for Stoke or big-up Bracknell?Can you handle the thrill of Rhyl, the heaven of Hull or the mirth of Tydfil?

In You are Awful, Tim Moore drives his Austin Maestro round all the places on our beloved island that nobody wants to go to - our most miserable towns, shonkiest hotels, scariest pubs, and silliest sea zoos...

But as the soggy, decrepit quest unfolds he finds himself oddly smitten, and the result is a rousing, nostalgic celebration of mad, bad But I Like You Britain."

A sort of 'Playing the Moldovans at Tennis' of Britain, this is a poor-mans version of Bill Bryson's 'Notes From A Small Island'; written as comedy rather than actual travelogue and playing up that uniquely British thing of being all too passionate about something really, really shit.

Basically, this is these book reviews, in the Wonder Twin's style form of a book about Britain.

Comedy books tend to be hit or miss, and comedy travel guides are dime a dozen. I read it. I can't remember much of it. I learnt one or two interesting things, but, really, crappy towns are much the same. One bad hotel, or city centre, or museum isn't that dissimilar to another, and it's hard to sustain jokes or come up with new ones when you've only got one target.

The bit about Hull is excellent though.

Not awful, I liked it, but there's better out there.

Also Try:
Playing the Moldovans at Tennis, Tony Hawks
Notes From A Small Island, Bill Bryson
Watching the English, Kate Fox

The Cyberiad, Stanislaw Lem

"Trurl and Klapaucius are the archrival constructor robots, who, ransacking myth, technology and the secrets of cybernetic generation, race to create an invention even more improbable than the last."

















The Cyberiad is a collection of translated short stories from Russian Sci-Fi master Stanislaw Lem, who's probably most famous for Solaris. It follows the tales (and tales within tales) of the inventor Trurl and his misadventures within the application of his craft.

Featuring everything from the invention of a beast that can defy death for a hunting party, to a storytelling machine telling stories of Trurl and the stories he knows. There's a sense of playful inventiveness on display which is wonderfully enjoyable. None of the stories outstay their welcome, at around 20 pages each they're very short indeed. Even the longest of them involves the sleight of hand trick of building stories into further stories, a trick that Lem adores.

There's a sheer joyfulness to the world building on display, a love of language and wordplay that means that every story features intricate puns and the vocal equivalent of sight gags. To say these are great stories undermines them, they show more regard for the subtleties and depth of English than most writers manage. That this is a translated work speaks to the power of the writing; I don't know quite how much of the original text survived here, but there are enough rhymes, half rhymes and flights of surreal connections to impress.

The person who lent this to me described it as a Polish Douglas Adams. That's a perfect comparison, and frankly, when that's the person that springs to mind, you're in a good place.

Also Try:
Sergei Lukyanko, Night Watch
Douglas Adams, Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy
Terry Pratchett, The Bromelliad Trilogy